It just so happens that I have been struggling with my inner self, trying to be in control of my own emotions and take responsibility of the outcomes of my doings. Life is never an easy thing that I am confident to handle with, and all the emotions and pain that I have to go through in life is just far too complicated to talk about.
I'm currently trying to change my way of thinking, as everyone has been saying that it is the main factor that makes me frequently trying to distant myself from the crowd, causing me to seek safety and security in somewhere else. I was never the one that people fancies the most; that's probably what not to be pursued upon but, I subconciously seek for people's attention, even though it is obviously an impossible task.
Sometimes, I literally gave up. But the temptation keeps coming back so often and so fast that it's becoming part of my everyday life's routine and I guess it's what that affects my heavy mood swings and the periods of depression that I have to go through everyday.
So I wonder if loving myself can ever be an easy thing to do, because I think I don't love myself enough to stop seeking for people's attention. And being anti-social is just making things worse. I need more time to think than to act.
The photos above are from my own flickr photostream.
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