Lose Myself

When my muscles and brain stop me from actually doing it, they still couldn't stop my mind from thinking of ways to get back at her.

I never hate and have grudge against anyone; even the other side of myself is telling me to leave this matter in peace and never come looking for it again. I don't look for trouble for myself because I already have so much to deal with, yet I couldn't prevent the incident from happening and having myself be the one who carries the burden of being accused and criticised really badly. And this is all her fault.

But I guess I will never be someone like her. I don't want to be like her. For being such a religious fanatic herself, she wouldn't control her own temptation of harming the others when it's against people's rights. I always wonder whether she figured it out after all, that she has always caused discomfort and pain. If I didn't tell her the mistakes she has committed all this time, she will never know and will not make any progress in life. But if I were to tell her, she will get mad I think.