"Sometimes everything seems really... harsh. I don't think I can handle it. Or... I don't know if I'm gonna be, or strong enough to- to be on my own."
-Aubrey Miller, The First Time
|An unwanted murder. Photo taken by me.|
Have you ever imagined what it's like... to be killed by your own father?
I didn't. At least, not until a few weeks ago, when I read The Witch's House's plot for the first time.
My dad and I didn't really get along well, I'll admit this.
There were times when he got on my nerves, and there's nothing that I could do about it.
I couldn't fight off the rage I felt. Instead, I buried myself into the planet of Hatred.
I feel damaged and broken, as I am now thinking, for the first time in my life, how it feels to be murdered by my own dad. It's not that he hates me intentionally, but he kills me to protect someone who he thought has always been me.
I played The Witch's House for one hour or more. Believe it or not, to me, it's a surprisingly non-horrifying experience for me, despite other players claiming that it scared the shit out of them when they played the game. Maybe it's because of the ambience inside the house, that warm and cozy feeling inside an old house or mansion that I thought I could feel and understand, as if I'm inside the house myself.
Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I knew what I was about to deal with in the game all along. The sadness probably overcame my feelings of becoming afraid. I'll admit this; I watched part of the walkthroughs before playing it myself as I was subscribed to someone who finally played it. That was the first time I was introduced to this game, and never did I ever come across a game with such a storyline.
I almost died, literally. After playing the chasing part in the game for couple of times, I gave up. I guess I am no longer flexible with using my fingers to press buttons in a game. I searched for walkthroughs of the final chase; with Ellen (who was actually Viola) chasing Viola (who was Ellen). This time, curiosity kills me. I am still left emotionally destroyed, and it's only because I got greedy and anticipated to watch more of it, till the end of the video. I guess the actual Viola can never be reunited with her father in this game. And knowing someone like Ellen who will be the one that replaces her and continue staying with the father, I can understand why she will go mad eventually if she's still alive.
Ellen was forced to be abandoned. Her parents died, she had no love from nobody. It's understandable that she would hurt anybody or anything, like her friends and the cats. And having to switch bodies with Viola would give her the opportunity to be with Viola's father, as being loved is what she needed. She WOULD kill to get what she want, because she had nothing left but she wanted anything that she could get her hands onto- love. It would have made sense that this happened.
Humans are helpless and self-absorbed creatures. We will do anything to seek for attention and security. We want to be loved, but we won't be giving any away. To me, I personally think that this is the greatest obstacle that we often fail to overcome. And that is why, we are our own "worst enemy".
We hurt to make ourselves feel better, to rage on and to think that it's the only or best way to deal with our emptiness. We don't care, and we never will, about other things. That is the starting point of our failure, from there we begin to fall. We are scared, but we never admit our fears, nor committing ourselves to the truth; that is, we can still change, rectify the damage that we have done. But for someone like Ellen, the past is too untouchable and haunting. And I assume that she never regret doing what she had done, as she got what she wanted. But will she do more harm, I have no idea.
I must say it's a good game with the whole settings and wording that the author came up with, but that ending is just so twisted and unforgettable, too unforgettable...... To a point that it may haunt and traumatise me till the day I die.