30 June, 2013

All Forms of Struggle

A photographic film of beautiful faces.
 "Oh no, not again..."

I work so hard for my future and for myself. I don't want to give up, but then again, problems are becoming distractions, and they won't stop coming into my life and get on my nerves. I must persevere, I must not stop fighting, I must be mentally and physically prepared; so I guess I need to be okay with having these distractions intruding my life, as a way to learn things and improve myself to the max.

The first problem of the day, is infatuation. Yes, it's been a year since I talked about me being infatuated with some guy that is older than me. This time it was different; I am beginning to like this guy who was a year younger than me. Every single girl wants to be protected by someone, that gives them the sense of security they want. The problem is they didn't even realise that, and in most cases they chose to deny it and constantly thought that other "bitches" are doing it themselves and begin to judge those people. That is the reason that I think that makes people believe that females need to be judged of their actions, but not for males. - it seemed pretty acceptable to criticise women of their behaviour, but in the end, it's just a dumb stereotype that prevents us from uniting together.

I do want to be protected, but I'll admit that I want to be in a relationship with someone. But I wasn't gonna, or at least I was not prepared to go around and search for love. Besides, I don't want to, even though the other side of me tells me to do it. I keep hearing my friends and classmates talking about how they will get married in the future, have kids and form family and all that. And whenever they talk about that, I wonder whether they really think about it because it's just some pointless sayings, or it's just that I am a strange person, and that's only because I have started to doubt that will make me happy, or even complete my life. Anyway, this guy just makes me want to break my own principle of being single in the future. I cannot forget how cute he is, how good he is, and how he smiled at me this morning.

"Admit it. We are all scaredy cats."

People couldn't be more stereotypical than who they are now- stereotypical. For living in this town for the most of the time in my life, it's safe to draw a conclusion that people have changed. Couldn't be more arrogant than who they are now.

I hate this. Why are we doing this to ourselves? We are all equal. But why are people pushing each other around? Is it necessary to do that? I don't know how do people behave in the past but, if they are to continue doing this now, then this world has no chance of becoming any better.

I don't want to be the same. I don't want to get revenge on people for what they did to me. It's not what I'm supposed to do. Life is too short to give a few shits about wanting to pay back for what people have done to you. Revenge is a drug. Hate is such a powerful emotion that has the potential of ruining this world, destroying hope and opportunities. It makes us become addicted to hurt, but for the wrong reason. But here we are, destroying each other and eventually destroying the ecosystem.

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