|A sketch of two girls by me.|
I've seen enough of hatred being passed around like an infection around the world to not notice it. Even little things like people ignoring strangers who apparently needed their help or children being neglected by parents in the public make me angry, all the time. And the worst part about hate, is that people seem to fail to differentiate between what's good or bad for them. I have a good English teacher who is currently the senior assistant of academics for our course we're taking, but people seem to take his words as something laughable and unimportant. Why would you hate people just because they care more about what they need to do than the others, such as you for instance? Why are people making fun of people just because they are being responsible and dedicated to their job? Why won't you stop creating hate around this place? There's not enough kindness and sympathy to go around and now you're just here being a troublemaker? Unfortunately, that's what we humans do actually.
Before I was less knowledgeable about these things, I was really humble and paranoid. I feel that I can never be compared to other people around me, as if I was born to be less capable and I can never deserve the best. It was dumb, real dumb. But people could've helped me getting out of that wall that I enclosed around me, feeling all so insecure and helpless. But nobody did. I blamed them. I accused them for being ignorant and selfish. Now I am just glad that I started to prevent myself from thinking that way; because it is an actual fact that everybody, and I mean everybody, is scared. Everybody is afraid that they themselves will get hurt, and kudos to those who never failed or stopped to help the others because that is what we should be impressed about instead of being impressed by someone's wealth or beauty or someone's excellent grades in exams. Those are just the minor distractions that are what happened to be something we care more about. I used to be like that, though; but now I have looked forward in the hopes of noticing changes or new discoveries in people. I want to tell myself that I am not the only one who can see things in these ways but I will meet someone that does the same.
I could have stopped caring and be like "nobody assisted me in doing these things, thinking the other way about things and lead me out of the prison that I brought myself in. So from now on, I will not care for them too. I will make their lives miserable or even better, let them feel how I felt." I could've chosen to be THAT selfish but I guess there's no point in doing that. I believe that when I care about things, I can improve my mental and inner strength, and I can do all sorts of good things to make this world a better place for everyone. I don't want to be someone who is the same like everyone else and be stereotypical about it. I want to ponder on things the other way, to think about it for myself and try my best to be fair. I don't want to give up on everything. I don't want to make the same mistake that everybody or most people did. I want to live my life my way, which is extremely dependent on the choices I made for myself. I don't want to spread hate; I want to spread love around. And even if people are being bad towards me, I believe in myself that I will not lose hope and commit myself in doing the wrong things that I already knew was bad. Even if they hate me for being who I want to be, I want to let them know that they can do the same to themselves.